tell 'em why you mad son

Narcissistic: (Merriam Webster) Love or sexual desire for one’s own body.

(Urban Dictionary) Named after the Greek God Narcissus who was entirely infatuated with himself. So one who is, conceited, vain, arrogant, and “big-headed.”

The older I become, the more I understand what the definition of “narcissism” means. It goes way beyond just being “stuck up” or “bougie”. In this day in age, where it takes almost nothing for people to climb to the top of the social ladder thanks to social media, it seems like even more people are becoming narcissistic.

About seven years ago, the oldest of my two step-sisters had a 30th birthday party. Since I already knew how my step-sister behaved I didn’t want to go to her birthday party without some backup, so I invited one of my good friends to go along with me. My mother, step-father, my friend and I all got dressed up and headed down to this loft my step-sister rented out for her party. Now, the older of the two step-sister has always been stuck up. Even as an adolescent, she was very vain, judgmental of others, and extremely snotty. She was the epitome of a “mean girl”. The world was always revolving around her and she couldn’t care any less about other people’s feelings.

We arrived at the party maybe 30 minutes after it was scheduled to start. The very first thing all four of us did was head straight to the bar. There was a small sign on the bar that featured a signature cocktail for the party. It was called a “Marvelous Martini”, a play on my step-sister’s name. Well, of course we all wanted to try this signature cocktail so my step-father stepped up walked up to the bartender and ordered. “I was instructed to only serve this drink to the birthday girl.” the bartender replied. Almost immediately the four of us burst out into laughter because we thought the bartender was joking. “No one is allowed to order this drink except for the birthday girl.” the bartender stated again. My step-father couldn’t contain himself after hearing this outrageous explanation. We all ordered something else and sat down.

After numerous trips to the bar and eating almost all of the hors d’oeuvres, two hours had passed and my step-sister still had not arrived to her own party. Everyone was beginning to comment on the fact that my step-sister was late and how they were tired of waiting. My mother, step-father, friend and I killed time by cracking jokes, especially jokes about the evening’s signature cocktail. Suddenly, my step-sister’s mother announces to everyone that the birthday girl was around the corner and would be making her grand entrance momentarily. The four of us started laughing once again. This entire party was becoming way too much for us to handle.

About five minutes later our conversation was interrupted by the blaring sound of “Diva” by Beyoncé and my step-sister’s mother yelling, “The birthday girl has arrived!” OMG. If you have ever watched an episode of MTV’s “Super Sweet 16” then you know how those kids make their grand entrances. This was like 10 times more desperate. I don’t think I have ever seen anything like it. And I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. Remember, this was not a kid’s sweet sixteen birthday party. This was a grown 30-year-old woman’s birthday party. Not only was there this overly dramatic grand entrance, but my step-sister’s mother presented her with a ginormous martini glass filled with the “member’s only” specialty party cocktail that no one else at the party was allowed to order. All of this was beyond too much.

Now, I’m not one to judge how a person chooses to party. If you want to dance on a bar and get shit-faced, that’s your prerogative. But when you have to go out of your way, and at the expense of others (because all of my step-sister’s party guests waited for hours) to showcase yourself, you usually end up looking like a fool eventually. Not once did my step-sister offer an apology to any of her guests. When my step-father questioned my step- sister about her tardiness her reply was, “Well you know all of this fabulousness (she was pointing to her body) takes time. Good things come to those who wait.” She laughed at her own statement and then walked off.

Narcissistic people see nothing wrong with their behavior and rarely do they take into consideration other people’s feelings. They obsess over themselves in an unhealthy way and expect everyone to feel the same way about them as they do themselves. Narcissists will stop at nothing to express to the world their vanity and ego. I find it common that narcissists act the way they do because they usually have an insecurity about something else. They draw in attention to distract from something else. Little do they understand, that “something else” is still there, and others probably don’t care about their vanity to the same extent, if at all. True beauty comes from within and not from the things you feel you have to show and tell to the world.