tell 'em why you mad son

Measurement: (Merriam Webster) The act or process of measuring something.

(Urban Dictionary) *No definition found*

How many times have you compared yourself to someone you know? How many times have you looked at something someone else had, and said to yourself, “If she can have that, then why can’t I have that too?” I have been guilty of that. I think we all have been guilty of that at some point in time. It’s easy for us to look at someone and compare what we have, or what we don’t have, to what that person has or doesn’t have. Social media also makes this worse. Social media gives people the opportunity to share intimate parts of their lives, in detail, and show the world everything they have (or don’t have).

When I first moved back to Chicago, about three years ago, I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. I was living with my parents, unemployed, and very single. Meanwhile, most of my friends were working, married or in relationships, and on their way to buying homes. I couldn’t help but to compare myself to everyone else around me. I felt like I wasn’t where I was supposed to be in life because of the “standard” I was setting for myself by comparing my life to those around me. That was a huge mistake.

A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend of mine, who on the outside, seemed to have everything in life figured out. They had an amazing job, was married, and had a home. Whenever I would think about where I should have been in life, I would always look at my friend’s life. I realized a few weeks ago that my friend didn’t have the perfect life. In actuality, their job was horrible, there were conflicts in their marriage, and they were generally unhappy with the direction their life was going in. It caught me so off guard when I learned of this. All this time I had been using my friend to measure where I should’ve been in life, when in reality, my friend didn’t want to be where they were in life.

As hard as it can be at times to not look around you and compare yourself to others, it’s important to understand that what may look good on the outside might not actually be the reality. It’s easy for us to judge someone by what we think or assume is going on but nine times out of ten, that usually isn’t the reality. Set your own goals. Live by your own standards, and you will find that you will never be disappointed by trying to reach an unattainable goal set by someone else.